It's not you, it's me.

Dear Cracked.com,

I remember going on stumbleupon one fine day and coming across one of your posts. It was funny, witty and well put together. I was impressed and it was love at first sight. I was amazed that a website could still be funny and clever without being stupid. However, you have gone through some serious changes since we first met. The most important one, and the one that causes all of the other changes you have gone through is the fact that just about anyone with half an opinion can write articles for you. No offense, but in my opinion that makes you nothing more than a filthy slut. I mean, if I wanted to read post upon post of someone bitching and not even knowing much of what they were complaining about in the first place, I'd go on facebook and creep on some unsuspecting person with an unnatural urge to use more consonants than makes sense. I used to respect your humor and now it is just not as witty or as thoughtful.

I think the main problem I have with you, dear Cracked.com, is the fact that you have become nothing more than a hipster website. I don't mean to say that hipsters frequent you (although they might, I don't quite know what you are into these days). What I mean to say is that you now have taken on the typical trademarks of the urban hipster, such as "Oh, that's too mainstream for me. I hate it merely because other people like it and find it interesting." Granted, I know that I am not the best person to talk on the subject, given my aversion to any and everything HSM and Twilight, but I still find it irritating when half of the articles deal with the same subject: Being sarcastic and mean at the same time. I mean, one can only read so many articles reading about things "so ridiculous you won't believe are true" "stupid movie plots" or "overused things in media". I miss the old cracked.com that dealt mostly with things that were a little less mainstream.

My solution? Stop being a hoe! I enjoyed when you only had a few writers and I could actually go pick and choose from their articles. Now everyone is allowed to, so if you think about it, it is kind of like a public blog. I know that I wouldn't post anything on that site because I know that no one wants to read what I have to say. If they did, they'd be following my blog right now and reading this old thing and not be like "Man, if only she were to be a writer on Cracked.com, then I'd read her more." No, I know my place and the people who think people care about what they have to say should stick to their own site and leave Cracked.com to the pros.